Inspiration Sandwich

Barbie, why in the fuck do you have a wine bottle on top of the oven. That’s a safety hazard, you stupid bitch. 

Jesus christ Barbie, you left the fridge open — I mean seriously, you’re letting all that cold air out and all your food is going to spoil. What the hell is wrong with you barbie, you food wasting bitch. What. the actual. hell.

How could you just leave a cheese grater on top of the fridge like that? It can easily fall and hurt someone, what the hell barbie, you fucking sadistic fuck.

Barbie, what the fuck do you even think you’re doing?! Did you think you were going to get away with this?! If your mother saw you trying to clean up blood with Dawn — fucking Dawn, Barbie — she’d shit a brick. Use some god damn bleach. Jesus.

Bitch use some goddamn fucking common sense. If you’re going to store raw meat in your fridge, put it in goddamn container. JFC, are you [redacted]? That shit’s going to drip blood ALLLLL over all your other foods. Do you want to get sick? That little pan you got it on ain’t gonna cut it - it’ll fill right up and drip from the corners. Jeez, think, would ya?

For the love of fuck, Barbie, how dirty do you have to be to have a fucking rat just chill next to your fridge????

Try sweeping up the fucking crumbs before you try mopping anything with fucking Dawn. Jesus Christ.

Barbie, the Swiffer is your friend. I’m just saying. The days of getting on your hands and knees and scrubbing the kitchen floor are behind us. Also, Dawn? You do realize that a dab of Clorox and some Comet will do a much better job, right?

IS THAT A RAT?!

Barbie, do you have any idea how difficult it is to get blood out of white pants?  Didn’t you read YM as a teen?  You might want to put on different house cleanin clothes.

BARBIE, IS THAT THE DOG BY YOUR UNCLEANED CARCASS? Have you no home training you stupid bitch? You think it’s okay to have your dog beside a corpse? What about worms? What about infection? It’s just a puppy, for Christ’s sake. Barbie if you don’t do something, I’ll report your sorry ass to the fucking ASPCA.

Oh so every single one of the people who wrote the above replies are completely blind right? You guys can’t see what has happened? You think this is a joke? You think this is funny? I hate when people see a picture and miss the ENTIRE point of a post. The fucking bread is halfway on the stove. You don’t see that shit just sitting halfway on the damn burner? Um…and not a smoke alarm in site. You are all a bunch or derailing muther fuckers and I am sick of it. BARBIE GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! How fucking difficult is it to get a damned smoke alarm?

..oh and look at this shit. WHERE THE FUCK IS THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER? 

Okay, I see what’s going on here. You’re trying to clean it up, and I know, I know, you have to start somewhere. Let me give you a tip or two, Barbie.

Your hose is not connected to anything. It doesn’t matter how hard you press the lever, no water is going to come out unless you attach it to the sink.

Also, you left a corked bottle of wine on the stove. It is going to explode.

I can’t get past the pup. That little dog is sitting there and you just KNOW it wants to stick its nose in the corpse… and even if it didn’t, you’re just letting it run around when there are knives on the floor? When there are cleaning products everywhere that the pup could ingest and get sick? I’m with curiouslycool, none of the other shit is nearly as important. TAKE CARE OF YOUR DOG, BARBIE.

Barbie that hose is not even connected to any water source WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. Plus, those ankle holds are going to do some serious damage to your walls. I CAN SEE THE PLASTER CRUMBLING OFF WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES. Jesus, think of the repair costs.

Barbie, it’s clear you’ve never hunted. Yeah, you made a mess, but that was your fault! Really, I’m disappointed. Clean the kill before the room, girl. Get the organs out or the meat’ll spoil! GOD. And WHAT are you doing with that head?? You can’t just store that shit in the original container, he ain’t a fish! FINISH ONE JOB AT A TIME BARBIE.

”Ladies and gentlemen, i introduce you : TUMBLR.”

Hahahahaha. These comments ^^

(Source: micromimic)